And so my friends it falls once again to me to tell the tale, of our band of merry travellers, as they continue their musical crusade up into the Highlands, known to one and all as “Gordonsland”. In fact this particular episode begins with an unexpected evening at home after our journey back from Berlin. Ahhhh yes, wonderful pasta and red wine at Papa Dels followed by Coronation St taped from earlier, Top! Saturday morning means a stroll through the woods to a little place I know that does the best Poached Eggs on toast in North London, and possibly the world. 5pm, Kings Cross station, not one of the nicer areas of our Capital City, we (Abbis - Manboy, Dave - HHJJ etc etc, Gary - TM and myself, or the London crew as we are referred to) meet for the journey to Leeds where we will rendezvous with the Leeds posse (much respect to the Leeds posse by the way) and complete the expedition on the Love Bus. As we board the train clutching our weekend super saver extra super economy tickets a strange but pleasant thing happens... HHJJ and Abbis are recognised by the ticket inspector from their passport photos on this very web site and we are all instantly upgraded to First Class with all the trimmings at no extra cost! Well, to be honest, that’s not quite how it happened but surely it’s only a matter of time? Whatever, we all feel very comfortable and relaxed and start to drink the old Vino Tinto until there is no more left on the train. Dave gets a bit lairy at this point and starts stuttering, which is never a good sign for him. Somewhere around this time he earns two more additions to his already extensive nickname... Wibbly Wobbly (can’t quite remember how that came about) and King of Comedy for his crap jokes.
Leeds, Republic of Yorkshire, near birthplace of yours truly, and for one day only, home to the Love Parade. Lots and lots of people on the streets as we search for an Off Licence. Most of which don’t exactly look very “Loved Up” as it were, possibly due to the cold and rain what with it being Grim Oop North and everything! Finally find somewhere selling booze but resume our voyage slightly sad and disappointed because no Marmite could be found for ‘us toast. The remainder of the evening is spent in the usual way, drinking red non fizzy booze and listening to The Very Best of Latin Jazz Volume 2 before the old bunk bed and oblivion beckons. However, a peaceful night is not on the cards for one invited guest on the silver Love Bus, who shall remain nameless but she knows who she is. “Those are crap mens portions of vodka, why don’t you try real womans portions” she cried, full of the sort of bravado that comes with already being a little, shall we say tipsy? In the dead of night the whole bus is woken by a strange whooshing sound and a warm blast of pungent air flashing by their bunks, as she who shall remain nameless, sits in the back lounge, and manages to hit the front window of the bus (a distance of almost 40 feet) with projectile vomit, not bad for a girl!
Sunday, T in the Park! Now call me old fashioned, but I thought T in the Park would be a quiet affair, a few friends gathering at a small tea shop taking afternoon tea with some of those lovely cucumber sandwiches like my sister Dolly makes or maybe a toasted crumpet or two. Possibly even an acoustic guitar and a singalong to the odd Dean Martin song? But no, I was wrong, I was very wrong! T in the Park is another one of those festivals, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, that nobody knows exactly where they are but miraculously thousands of people just turn up to every year, amazing really! As I awoke, the tell tale pitter patter I heard could only mean one thing, RAIN, RAIN and more RAIN, great said I, a chance to try out my semi waterproof jacket! Great said the band, a chance to sell lots of Embrace poncho raincapes. Bugger, said the Tour Manager, Mr Cockup is in the house and the merchandise company has neglected to supply any for the occasion!
Anyway for reasons which I don’t wish to dwell on, today is a bit of a shit day for us technical types, with all sorts of obstacles being placed in front of any simple request and much shifting of goalposts round and about. To top it all, Muse seem to have got lost on their way to the festival and are nowhere to be found, so after much confusion it is decided that David Holmes the DJ will go on in their place and Embrace will go on a little earlier than originally planned. Our backline equipment is hurriedly pushed out onto stage although not quite ready, and David H’s decks of steel are setup at the side of the stage and he commences his DJ set, nice. Sometime later, Beeves gets up from behind Mickey Dales keyboard rig where he has been sat twiddling and tweaking and exits stage left. Moments later a slightly embarrassed BBC person appears and informs us that they had been filming Beeves and broadcasting him live on TV for a full 10 minutes thinking he was David H the DJ, brilliant! 8.15pm or so gig starts and it’s a cracker. Much respect to the Gordonsland posse in the house, all 7000 of them in a bloody big tent! Serious sound level restrictions mean that the noisy crowd particularly in AYGGP was much louder than band, but Environmental Health Authority chap try as he may could not find the volume knob to turn them down and I would like to see him try!
Crew ride back to bus in the open back of a relative of our trusty Morris Minor Pickup truck previously used for Glastonbury, towing the backline trailer around the entire festival site back to the Love Bus. It’s pissing down with rain and our waterproof and semi waterproof clothing is being stretched to its limits when with Travis still onstage we spontaneously burst into song “Why Does it Always Rain on Me etc etc” and lots of Wooo Hoooing, a great moment and no mistake! Today is officially declared a Memory Event and we hop onto the bus and gobble down some Tuc crackers with a very nice Mushroom and Red Pepper paté washed down with a few bottles of very fine Bordeaux, lovely!
Several hours later with daylight fast approaching we sit rooted to the spot. The Love Bus has caught a cold and is going nowhere until the bus doctor arrives to to give it some Love Medicine. Tired and over excited from todays adventures our Merry Travellers fall asleep one by one and dream of gigs to come and gigs that have been. Good night everybody and sweet dreams. |
