Beneath a brilliant azure sky MIKE BEST PI grinned a sly grin, the finest Havana cigar clamped firmly between his tombstone jaw. He could feel it in his bones, today was going to be a good day.
The boats powerful engine roared into life as he pulled out out of the harbour past a huge breasted rotating woman, "just the way I like em!" he grinned, Havana cigar balanced precipitously on his tongue, and out into the open expanse of the Bodenze. He let the throttle out and enjoyed the throaty roar of 400 break-horsepower, he enjoyed the sensation of warm air whistling past his flapping ears. Oh yes - today was going to be a good day.
With him in the boat were his trusty side-kicks, STEVIE MILD, the gentle giant with golden flowing locks, lanky comedy water hoon BOB ROB, and half man half monster- McHULK. Yeseree JimBob today was sure-as-hell going to be a good day!
Up ahead in another powerful craft he caught sight of his prey, the evil DR BEEVER and his band of villians, TWISTED RICK BITTER the most sick and spiteful individual in the lower echelons of the charts, the charming but deadly sadistic killer MICKY CAMPARI, and the tiny MANBOY ABBISS.
2 Minutes later thanks to the supercharged engine of our hero's boat, they had pulled level with the BEEVERCRAFT. As one man they leapt aboard, and after a brief violent struggle pleasantries were exchanged, man became enmeshed with monster, shirt buttons were wrenched loose, trousers were thrown asunder and shoes ripped shamelessly from there wearers. Together they stood in an assortment of leopard print thongs, pouches, tanga-briefs, and leather G-strings. Pale in the summer sun they let out an ear splitting cry of "Imkahud!!!!!" and plunged into the icy waters.
Some hours later, having enjoyed an afternoon frolicking in the water, with a side order of monster truck racing, they gathered once more to stuff their already ample bellies with thai curry and to imbibe the liquor of the gods. MIKE BEST PI surveyed the orgiastic scene before him with a wry grin, Havana perched triumphantly on his upper lip. They had been joined on this occasion by WEATHERGIRL DAN, the dapper brolly carrying MILKY, his bitch MIAMI DAVE looking for all the world like a male catalogue model in day off shirt and chinos, and the sleepy eyed rock and roll kitten DES. Thai curries were ordered, beers and fine wines were quaffed and a great huzzah cried out for the French as they won a totally made up fussball competition. "Real men don't like fussball" thought a satiated MIKE BEST PI as his traditional after dinner Havana hung limp between his two front teeth. It had been a good day, a damn good one and no-one could take that away from him..... |
