The day according to Gary
So, there we are….03.45am Sunday 6th Aug 2000. Castellón, Spain.
With a great Benicassim show under our belt, the next part of the itinerary beckoned.
I`m standing with the crew – Des, Gor, Beever, Abbiss, HHJJ and Milky, outside the Mindora Hotel. In my hand I have the six crew tickets ( at this point, I must state that I only gave them their flight tickets from Barcelona to Dublin ` just in case for any reason we get delayed`…..Yep….` just in case for any reason we get delayed`.
The crew, were travelling 4hrs by road from Castellón to Barcelona. Myself and the band were flying from Valencia ( 1hr from Castellón ) to Barcelona ( obviously the better option….mmm ). The idea ( and a very good one at the time, I might add ) was for all band and crew to meet at Terminal B, Barcelona airport, check in all 600kilos of excess baggage, fly to Dublin, do a show at the Witnness festival and then go home….nee bother at all.
So, on the bus the crew get. As I wave goodbye, hanky in hand, Danny and Rick appear from around the corner. No, a very pissed Danny and a ` pissed, but not as pissed as Danny` Rick appear from around the corner. They stumble into the hotel, shouting incoherent ramblings at each other, then disappear into the lift.
Its now 04.10am…we leave in 1 hour and 15 minutes…oh dear.
Its 05.30am. Myself and band are in the van and are on our way to Valencia airport. Danny still has a bottle of very cheap ( and probably watered down ) Whiskey in his hand, swigging out of it like a baby suckling milk. He insists on mumbling at me for the whole journey….great.
Arrive Valencia airport at 06.20am and joined the rather large queue.
No problem I thought….I rang Iberia yesterday…reconfirmed my seats…everything is all fine and dandy.
The band went off in pursuit of coffee and pies. The ever helpful ( and still pissed ) Danny offers to bring me a coffee .Bless him. 5 minutes later, Danny appears from the lift holding what looked like a cup of coffee in front of him “I got you this” he exclaimed cheerily, and obviously very proud of himself. What he failed to tell me, was, that he had managed to spill the whole contents of the cup in the lift on the way down. All that remained was soggy brown sugar, stuck to the bottom of the cup. Thanks.
I finally get to check in. An announcement comes over the loud speaker, explaining that flight IB 8837 would be a little delayed.
We check in and are given 6 x BOARDING PASSES…yes…6 x BOARDING PASSES…ie… 6 PASSES TO BOARD THE PLANE.
We go through security. Rick`s Prince Albert sets the buzzer off….again.
We hand over our boarding passes….
“ I…he…s`h`orry …w`h`ee `h`only have thr`h`ee seats left” I`m told at the gate
Yeah, but we`ve all got boarding passes, we`re all checked in…can we get on please!!!” is my reply.
“ I…he…s`h`orry …w`h`ee `h`only have thr`h`ee seats left…3 hoff you must w`h`ait unt`h`il thee next fl`h`ight”.
I proceeded to calmly, but very firmly explain to the girl that we were a group who must travel together as we were connecting onto another flight in Barcelona. I also explained that we were meeting the crew and we were all due to fly to Dublin…together. We had to get THIS flight.
Well, we didn`t get on THAT flight.
Iberia Airlines had oversold the flight by..er..loads. We were stranded in Valencia…along with about 15 others. I`m not having this, I thought…I`m tired and now very pissed off….WE WILL GET TO DUBLIN!!!
I eventually managed to explain the severity of the case to the girl on the gate ie We were headlining the festival and there would be chaos if we didn`t show, promoters would be killed, band would be held hostage…blah blah blah. I also mentioned that if she didn`t help us out I would burn down the airport ( not really )
So, we need a completely new itinerary to get to Dublin in time as we have missed the Valencia flight and our connection. Iberia book our new itinerary. Valancia to Madrid - Madrid to London - London to Dublin. The only problem, is that we are due to land in Dublin at 16.00, we are due on stage at 16.20…shit!
Its now only 08.50am….we `ve got a long day ahead of us…..and I want my mum.
We get the 09.00am flight from Valencia to Madrid…no problem. I ring the lovely Pete Turner, who is Production Manager for the All Saints. They are on after us at the festival and I ask him if they would be up for swapping slots ie they go on at 16.20, we at 17.20. He has to find out and will call me back. I then ring the Witnness festival production office and explain the scenario. They too will call me back.
We have to wait for 2hrs for our next flight. We sit in the terminal reading Spanish airport signs, swatting flies from our faces and nodding off, only to woken by tannoy announcements of “inky pinky…eth eth eth…inky pinky…delayed by 40 minutes”
Our next flight time is due…I check the board…we are on schedule…things are looking good.
We get on board our BA flight to London. I scoff rubbish airline food and fall asleep for a whole 6 minutes. In that 6 minutes, I manage to have a nightmare about being in a plane crash…that’s all I need. I wake quickly again to find water pouring from my palms…I like flying.
Anyway, get to Heathrow. Pete Turner has left a message on my mobile. All Saints are up for swapping slots. WEH HEH!!! Pete Turner…he`s a big lad, but he`s out `o` shape…but I wouldn`t mess with `im cos he`s built like a brick shit house.
We have approximately 8 minutes to connect onto our last flight. We get to Passport Control….
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F@!KIN` JOKIN`!!!
There has got to be a least 500 people queuing at Passport Control. If we get in this queue we WILL miss the flight. I can`t believe this. We have to get THIS flight or its all over. The clock will stop. Challenge Anneka will be over.
I swing my bag over my shoulder, walk away from the queue, and very calmly approach the nearest unsuspecting security bloke. The conversation, if I remember rightly, goes something like this:-
“Mate…I`m not going to bore you with details of the kind of day I`ve had, but I will say this…I`ve dealt with quite a lot today, and I have remained pretty calm throughout. There are 6 of us who MUST get our connecting flight to Dublin .We have been messed around all day….If I have to queue to get through passport control after all we`ve gone through I`m seriously going to lose the plot. I am at a point where I am prepared to jump over the barrier here and get myself arrested. I strongly advise you go and get a supervisor to usher us past this queue. I am not queuing.
(remember kids...........WE WILL GET TO DUBLIN ).
Within about 10 seconds, myself and the band were being ushered through, and our our way to board our final flight. We got to the Air Lingus gate, where again, there was a queue. The band and I stood there for about a minute to catch our breath, I then approached the gate. I asked if we were all sat together in Business Class. The guy took my boarding passes. He returned a few seconds later…
“ I`m sorry Sir, but only 4 of you are confirmed on this flight, 2 of you are wait listed for the next flight”
“No, no, no, no….there must be a mistake” I said.
There was no mistake. Mikey Best P.I and Mickey Campari were not confirmed on this flight.
Iberia F!*king airlines had failed to tell us that only 4 people were confirmed and 2 were wait listed.
I am now burning with rage.
Still as calmly as I can, I ask if there is any possibility of us all getting on this flight. The reply, which was expected, was no. The only way to get on this flight was if 2 passengers didn`t show.
The next 10 minutes was spent walking up and down the queue asking if anyone, preferably a couple, would be prepared to surrender their seats for financial gain.
Not a sausage. We were f!*ked.
It then became apparent that British Midland, who had nothing to do with our itinerary, were operating a flight to Dublin that landed 5 minutes after the Air Lingus flight.
I chanced my luck and approached BM. I was prepared to plead and bleed. I explained the situation to them and they proved very sympathetic. Nevertheless, we couldn`t get on the flight as the flight was full. P*ss.
I walked off, tail between my legs…a broken man.
“ Excuse me sir” I heard,
“ eh..what..yes” I turned around to find the Air Lingus Supervisor waving 2 boarding passes at me for the British Midland flight to Dublin. He had managed to get Mike and Mick on.
For that moment...and for that moment only...I was in love with another man.
Myself, a `now sober` Dan, Rick and Steve part company with Mikey Best and Mickey Dale. Will this work? Will we make it?….WILL WE GET TO DUBLIN?
Both parties land pretty much at the same time…16.30. By the time we get through customs, its 16.45. We`re on stage in 35 minutes.
We get picked up by Scott. Scott works for MCD ( the promoter ) and looks pretty stressed out. We all pile into the people carrier and head for the festival.
As we arrive on site, Scott takes no prisoners. “ Feck off you eedyot!!!” is screamed by innocent festival goers, who are very nearly killed by the roaring Previa.
We screeetch to halt just behind the main stage. Its 17.00….WE
F!*KIN` MADE IT!!!.
The All Saints are still on stage. Des , Gor, Beever, HHJJ, Abbiss and Milky are flying around, getting ready for the change over. The aforementioned crew proceed to take the piss out of me and tell me that Dave HHJJ Guerin is a better Tour Manager than me because he sorted everything out in my absence. Great…first Chapman now Guerin. Who will it be next?
17.30. Change over done. Band in the wings. The comforting sound of `It’s A Wonderful World` bellows across the stage. The band walk on. We made it.
Thanks to Pete Turner, thanks to All Saints, thanks to `The Crew`...and most of all thanks to all you crazy kids out there that make Rock and Roll what it is.............................shit!!!!
The day according to Abbiss
A dreary collection of crew assemble in the lobby of the hotel at 4am after a healthy 10minutes sleep! Topic of conversation was based mostly around lack of sleep and the quality of the Spanish education films. A van full of equipment arrive - ready for a pleasant cross load into the bus, a bus that has aboard none other than the mighty Lambchop. Gordy does the re-pack with extra vigour, flexing his muscles and ruffing his feathers in front of his heroes. We are about to board when a festival shuttle-bus arrives to drop stragglers at the hotel, two of whom bare a close resemblance to a pair of McNamara's- only drunker. Ahhh the comfort of a sleeper bus to recline in and catch some much needed ZZZZ's before our flight - not!
Barcelona airport 7.30am The "chop" step off, with a special goodbye for their new found groupie Gor, ready for their flight back to the Good old US of A, off they trot carrying with them a huge backline of 4! yes 4 guitar cases. We on the other hand are carrying around 600 Kilos - yes over half a ton, fortunately as we are travelling as a group of 12 the total of allowed baggage should mean only a minor excess charge. We find a New York taxi style cafe and join a well organised queue of pushing Spaniards. A breckie of British bacon and cheese boccadillos with coffee was ordered and we sat down at our table to await the band. The tables were all tastefully decorated in full ashtrays and empty food containers- nice!
HHJJ's phone rings...... We have a new TM all of a sudden, the bands connecting flight had been overbooked and they would be diverted via Mongolia. HHJJ was at the helm and quickly set about writing our new itinerary and shouting down his phone whilst looking very important. At the check-in it is time for some subtle use of the international currency known as T-shirts. The check-in girl is on good form and before we know it HHJJTM has got us the seats we want up in business class,and the "luggage" (truck load of kit) is on its way along the conveyor to the plane, not a baggage charge in sight, result! 3hr flight to Dublin a few broken minutes of ZZZ's and we arrive, to be greeted by none other than tour bus driver Herman (Mick) Helmet. On to the Witness festival a short 12 hour drive away.
Arrival HHJJTM bounds off the bus in order to secure lunch and fine wine which we were to discover was of Cordon bleu quality!! Once devoured we waited for our jeep to transport our trailer of equipment to the stage. On arrival it was discovered that Hermans trailer had the wrong type of hook to attach to our jeep so yet another cross-load was in order. A flat-bed trailer arrives and we jump on board for our journey to the stage. By now it has been discovered that there is no way the band will make their slot and the delectable All Saints were called upon to swap thus giving the delayed holiday makers a chance to strum a few tunes. Thankfully the girls agree and the set up continues.
Sometime later and All Saints are well into their set with the Modfather (Mr Weller) appreciating the show from side stage - still no sign of McNamara and Co.............
An object is seen flying in the distance heading towards the stage .... is it a bird?? Is it a plane?? Is it chart topping band Embrace........no its the Guarda (Irish police force) keeping a watchful eye over the pertying below.
Ten minutes to go and our Employers arrive and a gig it is.
After the gig its off to catering for more food and wine and then the dressing room to collect booze for delivery to the bus. Unfortunately I managed to drop a plastic bag full of booze down the stairs, fortunately for me not breaking a single bottle of HHJJ (no longer TM) 7 crates of wine. Off we head to the port of Dublin in order to catch our 10.30pm ferry which will give us plenty of time to get to London for tomorrows MTV show - oh we are good at getting there on time - NOT!!!
Next ferry 7am............... |
